His and Hers Cycles
Today we're going to talk a bit about the male hormonal pattern because we've been taught most of our lives to operate through this lens. Understanding the differences between the Infradian rhythm versus the Circadian rhythm actually helps us relate to the men in our lives and also helps them understand us.
So to recap a bit we have our;
Follicular: Plant the seed - this is where you want to begin new things or brainstorm and the new ideas are birthed.
Ovulatory: We are growing and nurturing the idea, and are great at communicating our ideas. We actually experience a spike of estrogen that super-stimulates the verbal and social centers of our brains. It's predictable! So wouldn't it be genius of you to plan things that require your verbal and social skills at that time?
Luteal: Our hustle phase! This is where you harvest your idea, wrap up any loose ends, and put the finishing touches on things. Our attention to detail is heightened which makes this a great time to do detail-oriented work.
Menstrual: Rest and reflect. This resets our energy for the next round of our cycle.
Now check your inner judgment about which phases are better or worse. If you went right to "oh the rest phase..I'll just skip that one", take a minute to realize that thought doesn't come from you. That comes from a society that says you're only valuable if you're producing. That's why this podcast is so important because I want you to understand why rest is something ALL humans need, all humans do, and men have a rest period every single day.
Now, I'm not asking that you turn into a woo-woo woman who has no responsibilities and just floats through life in your moon lodge, getting massages every day, and scootering around Bali...While that may sound nice, truthfully it's not realistic nor is it beneficial for us in the long run. However, I do want to help you understand the science behind it so you understand why it's not just a sweet idea to honor these different phases but it's actually a must-do. Without rest, we develop all these seemingly disconnected symptoms, mystery illnesses, and imbalances that actually ARE connected through the lens of the infradian rhythm.
A man's hormonal pattern is a 24-hour cycle. When they go to bed at night they make all the testosterone they need for the next day which is why, if you live with a man, you may be familiar with morning wood ;) This is a sign of good testosterone production. They have the highest concentration of testosterone first thing in the morning. If they are not using that testosterone for sex, they channel that testosterone to a good workout where they are optimized to build lean muscle and then get right to work. The relationship between cortisol and testosterone gives them the perfect cocktail to help them power through work that needs deep concentration.
Then as the day progresses and concentrations of cortisol and testosterone decline, we start to see their socializing time increase. You'll see happy hour at 4:00 or men preferring lunch meetings instead of morning meetings and this is because as they approach mid-afternoon, their focus, energy, and stamina typically drop.
By the time they get home in the evening, their hormonal tank is close to empty and you may see them with low energy and ready to hang out in front of the tv and unwind.
The entirety of corporate, diet, and workout culture is based on this rhythm. Although very different, men also have an internal clock that gives them a boost of energy, then focus, connection, and then rest spread over the course of each day whereas we have a body clock offering similar energy experiences but spread over the course of a 28-day period.
Our understanding of these two types of cycles can help us relate to each other in a really beneficial way and helps us realize that men ARE resting. Somewhere along the way as we were trying to fit into this masculine structure we left out the part about rest. We adopted the other stages throughout the day and have been trying to fit us round pegs into a square hole. Rest is built into a man's day but by fighting our own rhythm, we have abandoned rest and try to do everything all the time and this is what causes burnout.
Because we have longer periods of energy that stretch over a course of several days or weeks, we may get to the end of a day and not feel like resting but rather you want to stay up late into the night on a new project whereas during other days, you may need a lot more rest throughout the day as your body is expending astronomical amounts of energy internally as you release what is no longer needed emotionally and physically. As evening approaches our body may not be in a place to rest, or we have different types of responsibilities, or we have a burst of energy and it leaves us unsure of how to operate for our biological systems.
It's vital to understand that you have an entire phase that asks for your rest and when you honor it, but in the same way, you'll notice when you're in your Ovulatory phase or Luteal phase you will be able to hyper-focus on specific projects and have unmatched stamina, and not have as big a desire to rest.
It's important to recognize you have extended periods of stamina in the same way you have extended periods of rest. Without this awareness, you will try to create the same energy you have in your active phases, in your resting phases, and feel defeated every time. So honoring these things helps you get out of that burnout cycle, and get out of hormonal imbalance, and it also helps us be a little more gracious if our husband comes home from work at night as is tanked and just wants to sit in front of the tv. It's worth bringing awareness around these similarities and understanding this may be a time of rest for him - in the same way we ask them to honor our menstrual phase and help support us, it may be that he needs space to rest as well.
Obviously, there are extenuating circumstances to that as relationship dynamics are to each their own but understanding from a biological perspective what's happening can bring a lot of harmony to our lives.
