Finding Freedom From Alcohol
Today, I want to dive into something personal and a bit taboo because, well, freedom lies in taking a look at the things other people would rather sweep under the rug - and Rosewood Woman is all about freedom. This is my personal opinion and reflections as I take you along my journey, this is not a blog about what you "should" do or what is "right" or "wrong". So, grab your favorite cozy drink, and let's chat about restoring your personal sovereignty and finding freedom from alcohol. (If you'd rather listen, check out the episode Finding Freedom From Alcohol on Freely Feminine podcast here) .
Let's rewind to when I moved to Australia because I had just graduated and I decided I needed to do something dramatic. So having never been on an airplane alone, never traveled internationally, and never lived by myself, I found myself across the world living with a family I'd never met. With the legal drinking age being 18 and a country that value social drinking heavily, I suddenly had carte blanche access to alcohol and lots of opportunities to test my limits. It was fun at first, but it also introduced me to the ability to disconnect from my body entirely.
A couple of months into my Australian adventure, on my home from a weekend to the coast, I was in a car accident that flipped the vehicle three times into a ravine. Thankfully, a lovely couple witnessed the whole thing and got help. But the aftermath was brutal. I had injuries, including potentially broken ribs and a concussion, but I couldn't get fully assessed until I returned to the States over a month later so the injuries I sustained took up a somewhat permanent residence in my body. Alcohol quickly became my crutch to deal with the physical pain but also from the emotional turmoil from the whiplash of living abroad and being totally free to no financial stability and moving back in with my parents while recovering from this accident. It felt like five steps forward and a hundred steps back.
I still used alcohol to disconnect from my pain but it was controlled- strategic. I knew exactly how many drinks I could have of a specific alcohol to feel just out of my body. Christmas day that year, I was standing on my grandparents' deck, and I remember this gripping feeling like I wasn't even in this world. Normally Christmas was my favorite time of year, I loved my family, I loved the festivities, but I had a dark cloud looming over me - but it was coming from me. I had disconnected so much I felt like my life was a movie playing out in front of me that I was watching but not in. That was the moment I knew alcohol had to go. I didn't want to rely on it as a crutch. I wanted to face my issues head-on, no matter how tough they were.
My first act of agency was choosing not to drink if I felt like I needed it which led me to face the reasons behind my cravings. It was my introduction to self-development long before I knew what that really meant.
I continued to drink socially for a time but noticed how alcohol gave me access to a part of myself that I usually suppressed—a fun, fiery side who didn't care what other people thought. But the only way I could bring her out was through numbing out to the insecurities I was too afraid to face. This led me to eventually dropping the social drinks as well.
I wanted sovereignty over my body and emotions. I wanted to be able to process my feelings and be my authentic self without any external substances. This journey also included other substances—if I felt like I needed ice cream, alcohol, or anything else to cope, I didn't use it.
This path wasn't easy. It involved a lot of emotional and physical pain but it gave me the opportunity to be with the discomfort and it led me to finding real solutions instead of band-aiding the problem. Pain is always a message from the body telling us exactly what has gone awry so we can find a solution.
But it also offered profound growth; I had to confront why certain situations stressed me out and why I felt the need for a social lubricant. I had to look at my life an honestly ask the question, "Is this moving me toward the person I want to be?"
The final point that's important to discuss briefly is how alcohol does impact women's health. While I don't want to fear monger because I don't think that's supportive, I do want to share ALL the pieces that went into this decision for me and my body and part of your ability to make an informed decision for yourself is to be informed - is to have all the facts. And while we hear the downsides of alcohol generalized, it's important you know how much more it impacts women.
Women absorb more alcohol and take longer to metabolize it than men. This means higher blood alcohol levels and longer-lasting effects. The long-term health impacts are more severe for women, affecting the liver, brain, heart, and even increasing cancer risks.
Final Thoughts
For me, there's no upside to alcohol anymore. I want the best quality of life and true freedom. So, if you're thinking about cutting out alcohol or other substances, or if you're just looking for a new perspective, I hope my story gives you something to munch on.
Note: When it comes to a substance like cannabis that's a much bigger conversation - I think in certain situations it's an invaluable medicine and know many people who would have no quality of life without it. I used to work in equine therapy for kids with seizures (including Charlie who was the little girl they developed the strain Charlotte's Web for) - I know how unbelievably powerful and important it is.
AND I know how many people use it in the same way as alcohol and have become prisoners of their own making. This is why I share my story and why I say there's no right or wrong here. It's all about what works best for you and what you need for true quality of life. Get curious about your relationship with substances, face your feelings, and lean into what is feels like true sovereignty in your body and mind.
Until next time,
xx Beth
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